THE DARKEST HOUR IS JUST BEFORE DAWN

Dawn

(Photo courtesy of J. Tria)

In an attempt to cheer up and brighten the day of a friend who was feeling depressed, I sent her some inspiring words and at the end of my short message wrote, "...the darkest hour is just before dawn."

She quickly responded and asked me to explain what that meant.

During one of the bleakest periods in my life when I felt so all alone, hopeless and helpless and had to exert a real effort to carry on, I made a poster with uplifting words "...the darkest hour is just before dawn" which I excerpted from a song of the American folk-rock vocal group, The Mamas and the Papas.

I hung the poster on a conspicuous place in my room that will serve as reminder to me that sooner or later, things will change and get better. That kept me in perspective and gave me hope to carry on.

Okay, let's explain what that means. 

"...The darkest hour is just before dawn."

First, what is dawn?

The dictionary defines dawn as, "the first appearance of light in the sky before sunrise." 

What is dawn in Tagalog?

"Madaling araw. Or bukang liwayway."

Iyon yung nagsisimulang lumiwanag ang kalangitan pagkatapos ng napakadilim na hatinggabi. 

Take note, maliwanag kapag umaga. Sa katanghaliang tapat ang pinakamaliwanag sapagkat dito pinakamatindi ang sikat ng araw. Sa hapon, unti-unting nagpe-fade ang liwanag, lalo na sa dapit-hapon o takipsilim (twilight or dusk), hanggang gumabi kung saan dumilim na at wala nang liwanag. At habang paggabi nang paggabi, lalong nagiging pusikit (matingkad na dilim, napakadilim) ang kadiliman. At ang pinakamatingkad na kadiliman ay hatinggabi or midnight. That is the darkest hour. 

Now, ano ang susunod sa hatinggabi? May mas didilim pa ba sa midnight e yun na nga ang darkest?

Technically, after the darkest hour, magliliwanag nang muli. That is what we call dawn.

And the dawn naturally comes just after the darkest part of night.

Yes, the darkest hour is just before dawn. 

Let's find a parallel in life. 

Darkest hour implies negativity. Ito yung mga matinding pains, sufferings, hopelessness. This is a life situation where not only are you being oppressed and harasssed kundi maaaring may mga physical affictions din and, worse, spiritually low. Kadalasan, during trying times like this, it's hard to find someone with whom you can unburden yourself emotionally... when it's difficult to see things in the right perspective. It is the time where your faith in God is shaken and when you even blasphemously question if there really is God. If He really exists.

But dawn implies the reverse of that. Positive ito. It signifies hope. The dawn is an end to miseries and sufferings as it indicates change - a change for the better. 

Take this. When I had my nervous breakdown as a consequence of a series of traumatic events in my life, I sought professional help. I thought then that seeing a psychiatrist would instantly cure me. But I was mistaken. I started seeing my doctor March of 1980. During that difficult time, 24/7 akong nagdurusa, pain was all over me. Seven days a week. 

Isang taon na, ganoon pa rin ang aking situation.

Dalawang taon na, walang pagbabago. 

Tatlong taon na nagdurusa pa rin ako. At nalimutan ko na kung ano ba ang maginhawang pakiramdam. Hindi ko na matandaan. Of course, napag-aaralan ko naman ang possible reasons what brought me to my sorry state. I was feeling so hopeless that I felt I didn't want to live anymore. The trouble is I was afraid to die. I have no suicidal tendency. Despite emotional turmoil and mental torment, however, it was really a great wonder how I could still decide rationally. Mabait pa rin ako. Napakamapagtiis. And very prayerful. I held on to my faith. 

And on the fourth year of my agony, that was 1984, which seemed to be the darkest, God took me by the hand and rescued me. Basta na lang ako nagulat, nalimutan ko na pala ang pag-inom ng mga tranquilizers ko - five all in all.

When I consulted with my psychiatrist again, tuwang-tuwa siya. That meant pala, magaling na ako. I was almost euphoric. And I had tears of joy.

Nagliwanag muli ang aking araw. After four long and agonizing years, noon lamang ako muling nakadama ng magandang pakiramdam. Hindi ko inakalang makakaranas pa akong muli ng ginhawa ng pakiramdam. 

Kahit hirap na hirap na ako noon, patuloy akong gumawa ng kabutihan. Ang house and lot namin na lubhang napakabigat na obligasyon na iniatang sa aking balikat ay naipundar ko at the height of my severe emotional turmoil and mental torment.

Dawn signifies hope. Whatever situation we find ourselves in, let us not lose hope. Nothing is permanent. Things will get better. 

Or take the case of the pandemic. Hindi ba't everyone was feeling insecure, depressed and hopeless? Everyone was anxious and afraid especially when no cure had been found yet. But God saw the sufferings of His people. And He drove away the dark clouds that veiled the night. Then a cure for covid was eventually discovered. At lumiwanag muli ang dilim ng gabi.

Ganun. 

When you find yourself in a hopeless situation and you feel as though your world is coming to an end, hang on! It might as well be "just a bend... not the end". 

If it's the end, it might as well be the end of your miseries and sufferings. You are in the darkest of hours. And the dawn is coming! Rejoice!

TAMANG PAGTUGON SA PROBLEMA

 Pitumpu't tatlong taon na ako at sa edad kong ito, marami na akong nasaksihan at naranasang bagyong dumating... at umalis.

Oo, mga bagyong iba't iba ang lakas; nagsidating ngunit nagsi-alis din. Walang nanatili isa man. Sapagkat muling sumikat ang araw at gumanda ang panahon.

Ganoon din sa ating buhay. Maraming mga suliraning dumarating na animo unos kung magpahirap sa ating isipa't kalooban. Subalit hindi nagtatagal, nalulutas din natin. Kung hindi man nalutas, nalimutan din o basta na lamang nawala at lumipas.

Kaya't hindi tayo dapat nababalisa kapag nahaharap sa mabibigat na pagsubok. Hindi dapat iyong animo ninanamnam pa nating mabuti ang bawat sandaling inilalagi sa atin ng mga problema. Sapagkat tulad sa dilim ng gabi, sa ayaw natin at sa gusto, lilipas din ang mga iyan. Magliliwanag na muli.

Sa mga sandaling nagsusungit ang kalikasan, sapat na ang sumilong at magkubli upang makaiwas sa pinsalang maaaring idulot nito sa atin. Matiyaga nating hintayin ang kusang pag-alis nito. Iwasan natin ang labis na pag-aalala at pagkabalisa sapagkat maaaring hindi ito makabuti sa atin.

Ang pagkabalisa tulad ng iba pang mga negatibong kaisipan at damdamin ay maaaring makaapekto sa ating kalusugan. May mga internal organs tayong maaaring mapinsala dahil sa matinding negatibong emosyon tulad ng galit, sama ng loob, takot, matinding lungkot, panaghoy, at iba pang tulad nila. May mga pagkakataon ding nagiging sanhi ito ng pagtaas ng blood pressure, blood sugar, at maging atake sa puso. Kaya't nararapat lang na iwasan natin ang pagkabagabag o pagkabalisa. Wala itong mabuting maidudulot sa atin.

Sa anumang sitwasyon sa ating buhay, malakas man ang unos o hindi, at maging krisis man ang ating kinakaharap, makabubuting manatiling kalmado at pinapairal ang katwiran o isipan at hindi ang damdamin.

Ating laging pakatandaan: walang bagyong dumating na hindi umalis! Sa paglisan ng bagyo at sa muling pagsikat ng araw, may ngiti sa labing harapin natin ang isang maganda at bagong umaga.

WHERE TO FOCUS OUR MINDS AND HEARTS

(NOTE:  This is a repost.)

Yesterday, October 7, 2014, I attended mass at Our Lady of Victories Chapel at Harbor Point Mall in Subic.  The Gospel Reading was taken from Luke 10:38-42.
 
In his homily, the priest said that the Lord Jesus Christ and His disciples went to Jerusalem, the place where He would later encounter sufferings and eventually meet His death.  They were welcomed by Martha to her house.   
 
Martha was busy preparing foods for Jesus and His companions.  But what all Mary did was sat beside Jesus and listened to Him.  When Martha complained to Jesus about doing the serving all by herself, the Lord told her that she was so busy and worried about so many things when only one thing is needed.  Mary chose the better part because the Lord Jesus Christ may not be with them again so she took that rare opportunity to listen to Him.
 
In our present world, we have so many concerns and are engrossed with so many activities that seem trivial and not really important.  As a consequence, we live stressful lives that oftentimes lead us to useless anxieties.
 
We should learn how to simplify things.  We should free ourselves of enslaving activities and interests that lead us away from God.  We should focus our minds on what really matters in life.

THANK YOU, PRESIDENT CORY!

(NOTE:  This is a REPOST. Originally published on August 2, 2009)

Corazon C. Aquino, 1933-2009
(Photo from Nueva Ecija Journal)

August 1st is a marked date in my calendar. That is the death anniversary of my mother, Urbana Ayroso-Ramirez (March 19, 1921 - August 1, 1987). 

Yesterday, August 1st, 2009, another great personality (and mother, for that matter) passed away—former President Corazon C. Aquino, the mother of Philippine Democracy. Being a democracy icon not only of the Philippines but of the whole world, President Arroyo has aptly referred to her as a “national treasure”.

I was doing some household chores early yesterday morning when I heard the song “Magkaisa” over the radio or on TV. That song will remind one of EDSA… of People Power Revolution. And the People Power Revolution will always come in close association with the name Cory Aquino.

Being aware of the former president’s health condition, I became apprehensive and worried about what could have happened to her. My inquisitive mind and restless feet brought me to a neighbor’s door where I learned about the sad news that the former president has passed away.

I was emotionally affected. My voice trembled as I continued to ask and talk to my neighbor. And as old and familiar footages and videos of Cory were shown on TV, something started brewing in my eyes.

Many may not know it, but I was a Cory sympathizer during the turbulent period of our nation’s history when the political situation was very, very unstable. Because of the many sufferings, pains, and sacrifices that she had gone through, she easily won the hearts and sympathy of many Filipinos, myself included.

Cory fought with the dictator and it was a David-versus-Goliath-like fight with herself representing David and emerging as the victor in the end.

I remember the mammoth crowds or rallies, the Cory! Cory! Cory! chant, the flashing of the "L" or Laban sign, the yellow ribbons and confetti, and the ticker-tape parade on Ayala Avenue that characterized the political atmosphere of our country during those times.

I had a more-than-a-meter-high pile of Malaya newspaper and another more-than-a-meter-high pile of Mr. & Ms. magazine/newspaper that had accumulated in my living room from the day those “mosquito press” started their publication until the time of, what seemed to me, their "mission's accomplishment".

I had a collection of various foreign broadsheets such as Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, Asian Wall Street Journal, and Stars and Stripes that some fleet shore patrol and stationed American servicemen gave me or inadvertently left in our office (U.S. Naval Base). Those broadsheets carried news and stories about the political turmoil and unrest in our country that couldn’t be read in the local dailies especially when the “mosquito press” were not yet in existence.

After the EDSA Revolution, I also had a collection of various magazines that featured Cory, like the Time Magazine where she graced the cover being its Woman of the Year. 

But transferring from one house to another in Olongapo made it impossible for me to keep all those things intact. I could have boasted of such collections now with their great historical value had I not lost or misplaced them. Living all alone by myself and doing everything all by myself, I have lost track of them and really forgotten what I did with them.

There was even a time when, after Cory had peacefully relinquished the presidency to her successor, I tried to contact her by phone to ask about some matters of importance to me but Ms. Deedee Siytangco, her secretary, told me she had a meeting with foreign journalists. Instead, it was Ballsy, her eldest daughter, who entertained me on the phone. Oh, how pleasant and very accommodating Ballsy was to me!

I also loved listening to Cory’s speeches my most favorite of which was that one she delivered before the joint session of the United States Congress. That particular historical speech made me truly proud to be a Filipino. 

I have read much and widely about Cory Aquino—a plain housewife who suffered much under Martial Law and who was destined to liberate (as she indeed liberated) her countrymen from an oppressive and tyrannical rule, an honest public servant, a woman of Great Faith, and a President known for her simplicity and well-loved by the people. Despite all the pains she suffered in her earthly life, though, history will be kind in judging her. Cory Aquino has already earned a prominent and an enviable place in history. In fact, with the kind of life that she had lived, even sainthood won't be far from her.

Thank you, Tita Cory! Leaving the world of the living may sometimes be sweet especially so when your beloved Ninoy just cannot wait to be with you again. You may now rest in peace.

WE LOVE YOU!

Goodbye.

AN ENCOUNTER WITH A FAMILIAR FACE

AEC members inspecting Hanjin Condotel in Subic 

On November 22, 2019, at about 2:00 pm, I went to Landbank Subic to make a deposit. 

As I was filling out a deposit slip, a lady, probably in her late 40s, came in and greeted me with a smile as though we had frequently met before.

 

Her face looked familiar but I could not remember her name.

 

As I sat on a chair at the waiting area, I tried to reach back hoping to remember her name.

 

Could she be Gina Agustin, then the Chief of Staff of a former Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority (SBMA) Chairman and whom I approached for help in my desire to be reassigned to another SBMA department?

 

Since the lady sat in front of me at the waiting area, I politely asked her if she was Ma’am Gina.

 

She turned her face to me then replied, “Ako si Karen. Si Gina, nasa McDo.” (“I am Karen. Gina is at McDo.”)

I weighed things. Did I offend her? Was she insulted by my question? Was I wrong? Was the lady a total stranger to me?

 

But why did she greet me with a smile?

 

After some ten or fifteen minutes, the male bank teller called, “Miss Karen…” The lady stood up then went to the male bank teller who called.

 

So, she must really be Miss Karen as she had told me. As her transaction was over, she headed for the door, looked back and smiled at me again.

 

After the lady exited the door, the middle aged man sitting beside me smilingly looked at me then commented, “Parang McDo a!” (Looks like McDo, huh!”) referring to an old McDonald’s commercial.

 

After I had exited the bank I was still thinking who that lady could be and where I had interaction with her. Until I accidentally came across Ying, a former co-employee.

I narrated to Ying my story and asked her where I could have met Karen and she replied, “Could she be Karen Magno of the Business Center? She’s now Officer in Charge of the Manufacturing Group.”

 

“Oh, yes! She’s Karen Magno!” I exclaimed.

I knew Karen. She was then Account Officer and we often met at the Account Evaluation Committee (AEC) meeting when I was our Office’s representative to the AEC. But that was more than five years ago.

 

And my mind was back to peace. 

EVERY TIME IT RAINS

A heavy downpour

As I was writing this piece, there was a heavy downpour.  While watching the raindrops fall and listening to the sound they created, a familiar scene suddenly flashed across my mind bringing back some poignant memories. 

In my teens, someone gave me a card where the lyrics of the song "I'll Be Back" by The Beatles were printed. As though making a promise, he wrote at the back of the card an excerpt  from a poem written by Angela Manalang Gloria. And it went like this: 

"You shall not forget

For I am past forgetting

I shall come to you again

With the starlight

And the scent of wild champakas

And the melody of rain." 

Such a very eloquent and deeply moving piece of poetry! 

He was the guy I used to call my best friend. That was when he was still his old authentic self -- kind, humble, refined, timid, soft-spoken, very thoughtful! We had many things and traits in common. I'd say, apart from my mother's unconditional love, his friendship was the best thing that ever happened to me. 

True enough, whenever it rained, he had always come back. Equipped with an umbrella, he would come and ask me to roam around with him. And, despite the weather, it was a most exhilarating experience. Because he made me feel wanted... and needed. He made me feel so very important. 

Sadly, though, with the passing of days (and years), my friend radically changed. The change in his economic status likewise changed his character and the way he dealt with me. 

Even though he's no longer around now, and as if to fulfill the old promise he made, every time it rains, he always comes back. 

But only in my memory. 

MOVIE REVIEW (HINDI TAYO PWEDE)

(NOTE: This is a late blog entry. On March 4, 2020, my close friend, Belen Crescini, called me up and told me she and Nelia were going to see a movie and asked me if I'd like to go with them. I said yes so  we went to the Ayala Malls Cinema.)

Gaudz, Belen and Nelia inside Ayala Malls Cinema

THE MOVIE

"Hindi Tayo Pwede" starred Marco Gumabao, Lovie Poe and Tony Labrusca.

The movie was about lovers Tony and Lovie and best of friends Marco and Lovie.

When Tony met a car accident that took his life, his ghost kept on following Lovie. Lovie was the only person who could still see, touch, feel and talk to him. 

Marco then had the chance to express his love for Lovie whom he had secretly loved for so long. Lovie eventually fell for Marco, too, but the jealous ghost interfered and would not let go of Lovie. 

On one occasion, while Lovie was driving, Tony's ghost kept on nagging her until she lost control of the car and met an accident. Lovie, however, survived the incident. 

When Lovie was rushed to the hospital, Tony felt guilty and sorry for what had happened. 

As Marco was attending to Lovie, he sensed the presence of Tony's ghost and pleaded with him to just forget about Lovie since they now belonged to different worlds. And Tony obliged. 

MY REACTION 

Love can sometimes be fleeting. Short-lived. 

But love can also be so enslaving that it becomes a controlling spirit that interferes in unhealthy ways in our lives. If this is the case, we should try our best to free ourselves from this irrational force so as to be guided by reason. 

There are also other things and persons that control and lead us to living miserable lives -- traumatic past experiences, an oppressive leader or boss, a domineering parent, or even customs and traditions that no longer apply to the present. We MUST break away from these controlling spirits in order to keep our sanity intact. 

But, of course, this is easier said than done. 

MATULUNGING ANAK

(Ang joke na ito ay inimbento ko lang. Hindi tunay na nangyari o hindi true-to-life.) 

Sa isang malayong probinsiya (hindi sa amin sa Nueva Ecija, huh!) noong hindi pa uso ang cell phone, nakatanggap ng sulat mula sa isang postman si Aling Elsa habang nagwawalis sa harapan ng bahay nila. Kaagad naman siyang nilapitan ni Aling Myrna na noo’y nagwawalis din sa tapat ng bahay nila. 

MYRNA: Uy, Elsa! Mukhang may sulat ka na naman sa anak mong nasa Maynila, a! 

ELSA: Oo nga, Myrna. Siguro ibabalita sa akin yung bago niyang hinuhulugang appliances.

MYRNA: Ang dami na niyang nabili para sa ‘yo, a! TV set… cassette… VCD… washing machine... electric fan... Kulang na nga lang yata sa inyo e... electric chair!

ELSA: At kaya pala matagal na siyang hindi nakakauwi at hindi nakapagpapadala ng pera dahil may bago raw siyang hinuhulugan. 

MYRNA: Ano naman daw ngayon? 

ELSA: Ano nga ba yun? Tila… SLOT MACHINE daw yata! 

MYRNA: Naku, ang suwerte mo, Elsa! Nakakainggit ka! Kaya pala mahigit nang isang taon siyang hindi nakapagpapadala ng pera sa iyo! 

SEEING WITH THE EYES OF FAITH

Gaudz sees with eyes of faith

Have you ever encountered a life situation that is somewhat mysterious? An experience raising a question that seems to have no answer?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you pinned  your hope only on your Faith in God? 

A VERY TRYING TIME 

Last April 2022, I brought my younger brother to the Dr. Paulino J. Garcia Memorial Research and Medical Center (PJG) in Cabanatuan City for medical attention. He had many health issues. 

He had high blood sugar. He was anemic. His hemoglobin was low. He had urinary tract infection (UTI). His blood pressure was 90/60. 

Due to the above condition, he collapsed a number of times hitting his head on the ground.

What alarmed me most was his not being able to move his body, could not eat and had to be personally attended to in every activity he had to do. 

Laboratory tests were done and results of the CT scan showed there was bleeding in his brain and needed to be operated. 

The Hospital has very strict policy on visitors and persons attending to the needs of patients.  Only one person is allowed for every patient leaving my brother only to the care of his 17-year old daughter while I stayed at the waiting area outside of the hospital compound provided for visitors. 

I was very much worried then and prayed almost nonstop. I remember during the time the operation was being performed on him by the neurosurgeon, I said the rosary as I walked along all four streets surrounding the vast PJG compound. That was past midnight when I could not sleep a wink due to anxiety. 

After the operation, his daughter was asked to stay at the waiting area where I was staying as my brother would be placed at the ICU for three days leaving me even more anxious. 

I brought my novena booklet with me and made a novena to the Sacred Heart for nine consecutive hours. I solemnly prayed that my brother’s operation be successful and to bless and guide the neurosurgeon and other medical personnel attending to my brother. 

Dr. Paulino J. Garcia Memorial Research and Medical Center

WANING ENERGY 

Staying at the waiting area thinking about a loved one placed at the ICU could drain one emotionally as well as physically. But I had to take care of myself, too. As my physical energy was waning and needed replenishment, I went out of the waiting area to have my lunch. 

I found a canteen on Quimson Street in the vicinity of PJG. I ordered my favorite sinigang na bangus and a ripe banana for my dessert. 

When I was done eating and about to pay for what I had ordered, the cashier told me that it had already been paid by the guy who had just left the canteen. 

Greatly astounded, I asked her who that guy was. She said she didn’t know and that she thought he was my companion. 

Lest it later turn out to be some kind of a prank, I insisted on paying. But her two food servers confirmed my order had, indeed, already been paid by that guy they thought was a friend of mine. 

I told them I am not from Cabanatuan and have no known friend in that city. I insisted on paying but they refused to accept my money since my order had already been paid and that that would be alright with them. 

Trying to further convince me, the ladies rationalized that I might have had done similar good thing in the past and that I was then rewarded for my generosity by someone I didn’t know. 

Being a religious person and likewise believing in what they reasoned out, I was convinced. So, I just asked the ladies if they knew the guy and if they had any idea where I could find him so I could at least thank him.  They told me they didn’t know him but that he’s probably in his mid-20s and that he oftentimes takes his lunch at their canteen. They further stated that he works at a computer store beside a tailoring shop just before the highway as they pointed to that direction. 

ACTS OF GENEROSITY 

As the ladies’ words were still ringing in my ears, I tried to reach back. What act of kindness had I done in the past that deserves a reward such as this? 

I am basically a good person and have  remained good despite some cruel people's distorted opinion of myself. There are countless instances that can attest to that. 

Upon request, I tutored many students in our neighborhood and helped many schoolmates of all year levels make their school assignments. When I was already working, I helped many find jobs and lent money to those who needed same not even asking them to pay me back. Not only did I help them find jobs but even offered my place where they could temporarily stay while in a place far away from their homes. 

HOSPITAL RELEASE 

After the very successful operation (Thank God! And thanks to Dr. Charlene Mercado, the Neurosurgeon--we love you, Doc!) and having been confined in the hospital for nearly a month, my brother finally got out of the hospital but scheduled to come back the following month for the follow up checkup and removal of the staples on his scalp. 

We had zero billing. Many thanks to former Congresswoman Josie Manuel-Joson who fortunately called me on my phone the moment we stepped on the hospital ground not knowing we were there. That helped ease the burden of my stress-laden heart. 

Ma’am Josie is a good friend of mine and a former classmate (our valedictorian) in grade school, and whose staff helped facilitate in the processing of my brother’s Philhealth. Many commented that had the operation been done at a private hospital, it would have cost us million pesos. What’s more, the thought of having someone I can turn to on a trying moment like this helped diminish my anxiety. 

FOLLOW UP CHECKUP 

As scheduled, on May 31, we went back to the PJG for my brother’s follow up checkup. There were many patients on the hallway waiting for their respective doctors. 

As we waited for the neurosurgeon, and as if to provide the necessary segue to the mystery I was trying to solve, I happened to sit beside a young guy who likewise was there for the same purpose as mine. To beat boredom, I talked with him. I asked him who the patient he was with. He said it was his aunt whom he accompanied for medical checkup. He said they are from Cabanatuan. 

He asked me from where we are to which I replied from Gapan. 

When he mentioned that he works at a computer store beside a tailoring shop on Quimson Street, I asked him if he’s familiar with the canteen on Quimson Street near the hospital. He said yes and that he oftentimes takes his lunch there. 

I took that opportunity to narrate to him my story and asked him if he has a co-worker who is in his mid-20s and who mistakenly paid for my meal. He said he’s 20 years old but wasn’t the one I was referring to. But he confirmed his co-employees usually take their lunch in the said canteen. He further said that there was only one employee in their store who matches the age of the mystery guy and that he must be 23 years old. 

I requested him to ask that guy if he was the one who paid for my lunch so I could thank him. And I left my number to him. 

A couple of days later, in a phone conversation with him, he told me that he asked his co-employee if he was the right person I was talking about but that his co-employee said he could no longer remember the incident. 

WHAT’S IN A NAME? 

Darniel Piad. That was what the young guy said was the name of the only person working in their computer shop matching the age of the person who paid for my meal. 

The last name sounds familiar. Suddenly, an incident of long ago went to a replay in my head. 

During my teens, as I was taking a bath in the river, I rescued a young lady from drowning. That act of heroism saved someone’s life. The young lady’s name was Nilda Piad. And I was able to document that incident. Please click this link:  AN UNTOLD STORY OF HEROISM. 

Darniel Piad. He has the same surname as Nilda's. And all the letters of Nilda’s first name could be found in the former’s first name. 

It may seem illogical and absurd, but I tried to connect that incident of long ago to what the ladies in the canteen told me—that I “might have had done some acts of goodness in the past and now rewarded for that”. 

Paying for the less-than-a-hundred-peso meal I ordered may be but a trifling thing. But the experience was so full of meaning to me for not only did it replenish my waning physical energy then but, more importantly, it nourished my spirit. 

But, so as to spare myself from having some kind of intrusive thoughts and thinking too much about an incident that raised questions providing no answer, I meditated on the words our Theology teacher had taught and imparted with us. 

She said, there are times that we have to see things with the eyes of faith. Or words to that effect. And that we have to reflect and ask ourselves what it is that the Lord wants to convey to us; what He is telling us by way of incidents coming our way. 

Yes, for things that offer no explanation, we just have to see them with the eyes of faith. God works in mysterious ways! 

There are biblical passages that will complement what our teacher had taught us. 

Matthew 25:35-36 states, “…I was hungry and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me into your house. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you went to see me.” 

In Matthew 25:40, the Lord also said, “…Truly, I say to you: whenever you did this to one of the least, to my brothers, you did this to me.”  

We do not see God. But we feel Him. 

We feel Him in life situations and occurrences that inspire us... inspire us to do good. 

We “see” Him in life situations and occurrences that further strengthen our faith. We see Him through the eyes of Faith. 

PATUNG-PATONG NA LETRA (MALABO ANG MATA)

Siguro mid-80s noon. Matindi ang nerbiyos ko. Kapag matindi ang nerbiyos ko, ang labo ng paningin ko. 

Nagpunta ako sa Dispensary ng Base Employees’ Labor Union (Federation of Filipino Civilian Employees Association in the U.S. Bases) pero hindi dahil sa nerbiyos o dahil sa malabong paningin. I forgot kung dahil saan. Anyway, kaibigan ko’ng mga nurses doon. Lalo na si Linda who was then with her husband, Jun, na kaibigan ko rin. 

As I was reading something, I stretched my right arm kasi hindi ko mabasa ‘pag malapitan ang binabasa ko. 

“Ummmm!!” (Binatukan ako ni Linda, Duty Nurse.) “Ito ‘ka mo ang arti-arte! Magbabasa lang, pakalayu-layo pa ng binabasa!” 

“Hindi… kasi… blurred ‘pag malapit. Hindi ko mabasa. ‘Yung mga letra… patung-patong.” 

Tapos, napatingin ako sa kanilang mag-asawa. “Kayo nga rin, e… ang tingin ko sa inyong dalawa… magkapatong din, e!” 

“Ummmmm!!” (Napatawa pero lalo akong pinagbabatukan.)

SOME LESSONS FROM CORY'S LIFE AND DEATH

(NOTE:  This article was first published on this blog on August 8, 2009.) 

They say that "life is a journey to death". That makes Death the final destination of our earthly existence. And that Death is a sure thing to come--sooner or later. 

Since it has an ending, we can liken life to a course or study. After the course completion, a student is rated by his teacher or instructor. 

Likewise, Life, being compared to a course, must have some kind of rating, too, in the form of judgment or how people will regard the person who died. As the grade or rate a student gets for his studies will be based on his class performance, so will the judgment given upon someone's death be a reflection of how well he or she lived his or her life; of how he or she had affected the lives of others. 

We know that people have individual differences. They may be categorized into the ordinary and the extraordinary. Ordinary people go for things that are common and do things that many--the great majority--usually do. Extraordinary people, on the other hand, do things that are unusual or less popular. Ordinary people, therefore, outnumber their extraordinary counterpart. 

We live in a material world and our observation on ordinary people will tell us that they desire material possessions. They go for worldly things like fame, power, and fortune. 

Exceptional or extraordinary people, on the other hand, contemplate more on "what to be" rather than "what to possess". They go for things that last… things that are pleasing to God. 

I watched the necrological services for former President Cory on TV. Many delivered their eulogies praising Cory for what she did when she was still alive. 

A eulogy, according to the dictionary, is a high praise; a commendatory oration or writing especially in honor of one deceased. 

Cory came from a wealthy family. She was vested with powers when she took over the presidency. She was popular in her native land. She was famous all over the world. 

Fortune. Power. Fame. These are what ordinary people aspire for and busy themselves with. Cory had them all. But nowhere in the eloquent eulogies during the necrological services for her were they given importance if ever they were mentioned. 

What were mentioned and given emphasis, though, were her godly attributes: her selflessness, love for country, humility, patience, simplicity, honesty and integrity, her being prayerful, her devotion to the Blessed Mother, her obedience to the Will of God, and like intangible characteristics no one will ever seem to be interested in. 

Yes, her obedience to the Will of God. 

Bishop Socrates Villegas at the Requiem Mass at the Manila Cathedral said, "God has called you back home." And in his homily, Fr. Arevalo said, "What a great gift God has given to our people, in giving Cory to us..." 

Yes, Cory is of God and was sent by the Father for a mission. Now that it is accomplished, she has to go back to God. 

Cory, indeed, was never alone. Hindi siya nag-iisa. She was, in fact, in good company. For didn’t the Son of God undergo the same trials and painful ordeal that Cory underwent? 

Cory is now gone. We saw the end of her journey and how she was judged for living her life. What honor could be higher than what was given her—a prolonged standing ovation and an outpouring of love and affection from a grateful people whose lost freedom she restored—that very same race that her martyred husband said was worth dying for. 

Cory's death has given us a hint on what really matters in life. How shall we respond to the example she had shown us? 

OUT OF ORDER

May isa akong electric fan na sira. Naikuwento ko kay Zening, kasamahan ko sa trabaho, and she advised me na dalhin ko raw sa electric fan repair shop near her residence. Which I did. Nang magkita kaming muli… 

Goddy: Hoy, Zening, dinala ko na dun sa ini-refer mong electric fan repair shop ‘yung electric fan ko. Ang mahal ng singil! 

Zening: Naku! Ang dami na namang puti ng buhok mo. Gusto mo kulayan natin? 

Goddy: ‘Di ko na sana ipari-repair kaya lang… kalat lang sa bahay kaya ipina-repair ko na rin. 

Zening: Mayroon akong pangkulay, gusto mo kulayan natin, ha! 

Goddy: Bibili na lang sana ako ng bago, kaya lang mas makatitipid pa rin ako kung ipari-repair ko na lang. Kasi, halos kalahati lang ang magagastos ko ‘pag ipina-repair ko kaysa bumili ako ng bago. 

Zening: Sige na, kulayan na natin! Coffee black ang kulay. 

Goddy: Wala nga akong pantubos e! Dapat nung Sabado ko pa ‘yun nakuha. 

Zening: Ikaw kasi, ang tigas ng ulo mo! Sabi ko na sa ‘yo bumili ka na lang ng bago. Aba’y presyo na ng isang bagong electric fan ang ibabayad mo dun sa ipina-repair mo! 

Goddy: Hindi ba nakaka-allergic ‘yang pangkulay mo? 

Zening: Gusto mo itanong mo pa kay Lolit, mayroon kang mabibiling bagong electric fan sa halagang 300 pesos lang. 

Goddy: Dala mo ba ‘yung pangkulay na sinasabi mo? 

Zening: Hindi ba, Lolit, may tig-300 pesos na bagong electric fan ngayon kahit sa Ocampo’s ano? 

THREE STORES, PART 2

(Karugtong ito ng nauna kong entry also titled Three Stores.)

Store No. 4

Sa Lumang Palengke sa 23^rd St. sa West Bajac-Bajac, Olongapo, kung saan palagian akong namamalengke, I approached a fruit and vegetable stall where local oranges (dalanghita) were being sold.

Sabi ko sa lalaking teenager na nagtitinda, “Boy, pagbilhan mo ako ng isang kilong dalanghita.”

Habang tinitimbang ng batang lalaki ang binibili kong dalanghita, I asked him, “Matamis ba ito?”

The boy replied, “Ay, opo, matamis po iyan!”

Tapos, sabi ko, “Kahapon kasi, nakabili ako roon sa gawing unahan ng market, ang sabi matamis daw.  Pero, maasim naman pala.”

“Ay, maasim po?”

Sagot ko, “Gusto ko nga ‘yong maasim kasi may ubo at sipon ako.”

“Ay, ito po (as he handed to me the local oranges), maasim po ito!”

Store No. 5

Several months ago, doon pa rin sa Lumang Palengke, habang dumaraan ako sa isang fruit stall, pahiyaw na iniaalok ng tindera ang paninda niyang ripe mangoes.

“Ay Ale, Mama, manggang Zambales!  Manggang Zambales, Mama, Ale!  Libre tikim... ng sili!  Libre tikim... ng sili!

Store No. 6 

Just this morning, doon pa rin sa favorite kong market, huminto ako sa isang grocery to buy a bar of soap.  Gamit ko sa paghugas ng pinggan.  Ayaw ko kasi ng liquid soap.

“Pagbilhan ng isang baretang sabon.  Iyong  ‘Champion with Kalamansi’ ha,” sabi ko sa sales clerk.

But the sales clerk came with the brand I asked but with a different scent.

I told the sales clerk, “Ay, ayaw ko niyan.  Iyong may kalamansi ang gusto ko!”  I asserted myself.

“Bakit po, parehas namang sabon ang mga iyan, bakit iyong kalamansi ang gusto ninyo?”

“May sipon kasi ako at ubo,” sagot ko.