DEJA VU

Two years after graduating from the high school, and armed only with self-confidence, high school diploma, and typing ability, I left my hometown for Manila to search for a job. Young and pretty smart (excuse me for being so presumptuous), I was hired as Secretary to the General Manager of a manufacturing firm in Frisco, Quezon City. 

Then, after nearly a couple of years, I left my work for a greener pasture in the American Base in Subic Bay where, despite the odds, I fortunately landed in a far better-paying job than the one I left in Quezon City. 

During that time, job opportunities in Saudi Arabia and other Middle East countries were still unheard of such that even if mine was but a rank-and-file position, I took my job with a great deal of pride. 

Greater opportunities could have come my way but for a strange quirk of fate, a series of traumatic and unpleasant events started coming in and blocked my way from grabbing those golden opportunities. 

Long distance calls kept bugging me as I was busy with my work. My younger brother would relay to me disheartening news that my father was brought to the hospital. The next day or two, my brother would again call informing me that our second-to-the-eldest brother was likewise brought to the hospital. Then I would receive another phone call for another bad news which said my youngest brother was being sued for an alleged offense I can no longer recall. 

That same week, I received threatening letters from my grandfather’s only sister warning me that if we would not leave the place where our old house stood, she would confront my mother everyday. She then sent me via mail a copy of the case she filed in court that made me very, very anxious and frantically nervous. 

This avalanche of trying circumstances occurred when I haven’t gotten over yet with my breakup with the person I used to call my best friend who was then a great source of my inner strength. 

Those stormy experiences tortured me and gave me sleepless nights that eventually led to nervous breakdown. 

In what I had experienced, nervous breakdown seemed like some sort of possession of the mind. It was like a bondage… a slavery… a demonic oppression. I sought professional help, periodically saw a psychiatrist for so many years but he told me I was hopeless as far as medicine is concerned. I gotta find some other ways to be healed. 

Just recently, a series of unpleasant circumstances occurred again. A déjà vu of what had happened in the past. 

I was attending the Christian Life Program of the Couples for Christ at the San Roque Church in Subic when I received text messages from my niece informing me her mother, my eldest sister, was rushed to the hospital. 

Almost simultaneously with that, my nephew also called me up on my cell phone telling me his Daddy, my youngest brother, was in jail and asking me to call the City Mayor, a former classmate of mine in the high school, and request him to do something for his Dad’s release. 

Text messages from a nephew and a niece whom I both send to college found their way in my cell phone’s inbox telling me their final examinations were coming and payments were due. 

At work, as reorganization was under way, some co-workers kept maligning my name and fed false information to the one in power and authority that had always been the reason why I was being asked to report to his office to explain. 

As I have reached the deadline our landlady had set to vacate the room I was renting, as the third floor of the building where my room was located had to be renovated, conflict in my priorities started slowly taking shape. 

All the above incidents explain my absence in blogosphere lately and why I had not been active updating my posts. But having grown older and wiser, I now know how to deal with such life situations. Like a stormy weather that will soon pass, I know life situations--sooner or later-- will surely get better. As the trauma had slowly faded away, like a silver lining after the storm, there is great hope I could really catch up on things I left unfinished. 

Friends and readers, I missed you all an awful lot!