"YOU BROKE MY HEART"

The song “Sinaktan Mo Ang Puso Ko” (you broke my heart) by Michael V had a strange effect on me. During the time I was experiencing things that to me were very unusual, whenever I heard that song, I felt as though it was meant for me and directed towards me. I felt as though I was being accused of hurting someone else’s feeling. 

In the workplace, when I heard a male co-employee sing that song quite a bit loud, I felt uncomfortable. When I heard that song on the radio, I wanted to cover my ears. I seemed to have persecution complex. Or was I really getting paranoid then? 

Also, during that time, I had a very close friend from Laguna whose youngest daughter was my godchild. As my days were stressful and there were problems in all areas of my life, I always ran to my friend for moral support. He was my refuge and when I found things to be so unbearable, I would see him. 

In one of my visits to his place in Laguna, my two-year-old godchild (perhaps younger), who was so very fond of me gestured to me to carry her as she stretched her little arms. We were about to go to the public market then to buy some foodstuffs. 

While I carried her in my arms and as we walked our way to the market, my godchild pointed to the distant mountain before us and as though giving me a riddle, asked me, “Ano ang tawag mo sa bundok na…” (what do you call the mountain that…) but I could not recall her complete statement. If I was not mistaken, that mountain she pointed to was Mount Banahaw. 

I wondered why such a toddler could talk to or communicate with me that way as though she was already a grown-up girl. 

What amazed me even more was when the baby came closer to my face, then her little mouth, barely an inch away from my ears, whispered, “Gaudencio… Gaudencio…” (my real first name). 

Flabbergasted, and a bit scared, I looked at her and asked her, “Sino’ng nagturo sa iyo niyan?” (who taught you that?) Gazing at me fixedly, she then seriously asked me, “Hindi ba Gaudencio ang pangalan mo?” (isn’t your name Gaudencio?) She then sang as though she meant it for me, “Sinaktan mo ang puso ko…” (you broke my heart…) 

A few minutes later, she fell asleep with her head resting on my left shoulder.