DO I SMELL SOMETHING FISHY?

Vincent Bueno (photo from digitalpinoy.org)

Couples of months ago, Tom of MySpace issued a bulletin or put a notice on my MySpace account. The notice said something to this effect: that my account had been phished and that messages might have come from or have been sent by my account but which could have not been sent by me. I was advised to change my password and not to use that password ever again. Which I did. 

I signed up on MySpace, a social networking site, purposely to send messages of praise to Vincent Bueno who likewise has a MySpace account and who was then fresh from winning the grand prize in the Musical! Die Show, a reality talent competition in Austria. 

I could not send any message to Vincent whom I admire so much unless I sign up on MySpace. This was because I did not know Vincent Bueno personally then and did not know of any means by which to congratulate him. 

Vincent was responsive enough to answer my messages which numbered more or less 10 for the whole year of 2008. His last message was dated December 1, 2008 but he has not replied to my other messages since then. I was thinking that, being a star in far away Austria, he might have been very busy in his recording activities as well as in his singing and dancing engagements. Lately, he has been “dancing with the stars” as seen in some video clips uploaded on YouTube. 

On the latter part of 2008 and on the early part of 2009, I noticed the words “web filter” appearing on the computer screen every time I opened my email or blog. Could it be that I was being monitored in my use of the Net? 

I also noticed that the number of my friends on that particular networking site was diminished and my blog followers (this blog) also decreased in number. But I could only guess the reason why. 

Just recently, someone forwarded to me an email with content I could not figure out nor decipher as the characters it contained appeared like they were html codes. Its subject read: VB: Will he answer? I wonder!!! 

I was wondering if VB could have stood for Vincent Bueno. When I asked the person who forwarded that email what could the initials VB mean and what was her reason for sending same to me, she could not give me any answer. All she said was that it was just forwarded to her also. 

Incidentally, the person who forwarded subject email to the person who forwarded it to me was that very same person whom my anak-anakan (a young guy, also named Vincent, whom I treat like a son of mine) told me had advised him to steer clear of me. 

I do not mean anything by this, of course. I am just writing objectively. 

But do I smell something fishy? Or am I getting paranoid? Just mere coincidences? One thing is for sure—I’m kinda confused!

DEJA VU

Two years after graduating from the high school, and armed only with self-confidence, high school diploma, and typing ability, I left my hometown for Manila to search for a job. Young and pretty smart (excuse me for being so presumptuous), I was hired as Secretary to the General Manager of a manufacturing firm in Frisco, Quezon City. 

Then, after nearly a couple of years, I left my work for a greener pasture in the American Base in Subic Bay where, despite the odds, I fortunately landed in a far better-paying job than the one I left in Quezon City. 

During that time, job opportunities in Saudi Arabia and other Middle East countries were still unheard of such that even if mine was but a rank-and-file position, I took my job with a great deal of pride. 

Greater opportunities could have come my way but for a strange quirk of fate, a series of traumatic and unpleasant events started coming in and blocked my way from grabbing those golden opportunities. 

Long distance calls kept bugging me as I was busy with my work. My younger brother would relay to me disheartening news that my father was brought to the hospital. The next day or two, my brother would again call informing me that our second-to-the-eldest brother was likewise brought to the hospital. Then I would receive another phone call for another bad news which said my youngest brother was being sued for an alleged offense I can no longer recall. 

That same week, I received threatening letters from my grandfather’s only sister warning me that if we would not leave the place where our old house stood, she would confront my mother everyday. She then sent me via mail a copy of the case she filed in court that made me very, very anxious and frantically nervous. 

This avalanche of trying circumstances occurred when I haven’t gotten over yet with my breakup with the person I used to call my best friend who was then a great source of my inner strength. 

Those stormy experiences tortured me and gave me sleepless nights that eventually led to nervous breakdown. 

In what I had experienced, nervous breakdown seemed like some sort of possession of the mind. It was like a bondage… a slavery… a demonic oppression. I sought professional help, periodically saw a psychiatrist for so many years but he told me I was hopeless as far as medicine is concerned. I gotta find some other ways to be healed. 

Just recently, a series of unpleasant circumstances occurred again. A déjà vu of what had happened in the past. 

I was attending the Christian Life Program of the Couples for Christ at the San Roque Church in Subic when I received text messages from my niece informing me her mother, my eldest sister, was rushed to the hospital. 

Almost simultaneously with that, my nephew also called me up on my cell phone telling me his Daddy, my youngest brother, was in jail and asking me to call the City Mayor, a former classmate of mine in the high school, and request him to do something for his Dad’s release. 

Text messages from a nephew and a niece whom I both send to college found their way in my cell phone’s inbox telling me their final examinations were coming and payments were due. 

At work, as reorganization was under way, some co-workers kept maligning my name and fed false information to the one in power and authority that had always been the reason why I was being asked to report to his office to explain. 

As I have reached the deadline our landlady had set to vacate the room I was renting, as the third floor of the building where my room was located had to be renovated, conflict in my priorities started slowly taking shape. 

All the above incidents explain my absence in blogosphere lately and why I had not been active updating my posts. But having grown older and wiser, I now know how to deal with such life situations. Like a stormy weather that will soon pass, I know life situations--sooner or later-- will surely get better. As the trauma had slowly faded away, like a silver lining after the storm, there is great hope I could really catch up on things I left unfinished. 

Friends and readers, I missed you all an awful lot!

AN INVITATION TO READERS AND FELLOW BLOGGERS

Hello dear readers, fellow bloggers, and friends!

I created my third blog. It is titled “Paranormal Phenomena”. Its contents will be purely supernatural occurrences in my life. My paranormal encounters! So, expect some strange stories and anecdotes. They’re all true-to-life experiences.

I intentionally put those mysterious experiences all together in one separate blog so as for them to be categorized in a group. And although I really don’t have an inexhaustible supply of such kind of stories or experiences, I believe they will be enough to let the world know I have my share of such inexplicable happenings.

Welcome! And read on…

WELCOME TO "THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE"

I created another blog, also here on Blogspot.com. It is titled The Lighter Side of Life and is written in Taglish (Tagalog-English). It is intended for Pinoys and foreign nationals who understand Filipino.

This second blog of mine is all about jokes. Its contents are supposed to be a deviation from the too serious topics some bloggers write. Although I plan to include some “adopted jokes” whose authors are unknown, as of this writing, all entries are original and my true-to-life experiences.

I do not know if readers will find them funny, but I hope they won’t find them corny. And in case some appear to be “green” or “for adults only” and kinda offensive, please let me know so I can remove them. I need feedback. And your comments will be most welcome.

So there, dear readers and fellow bloggers, welcome to “The Lighter Side of Life”!

MY EARLY TASTE OF UNFAIRNESS AND INJUSTICE

At some future time, the past may come back to our memory. If one has a happy past, pleasant memories will certainly brighten his day.

But woe to him whose past is full of bitterness. If his past comes to his mind again, chances are he will be affected negatively.

In my particular case, there are many past incidents that are not worth recalling. They oftentimes give me resentment and similar painful feelings. One of those bad memories was my early taste of unfairness and injustice in grade school.

I was in the fifth grade then and as I came in late for school, I failed to join our class in the flag-raising ceremony.

I remember, during that time, the flag-raising ceremony was regularly held on the school ground fronting our town's main thoroughfare. When it was going on, vehicles and non-school personnel as well as other outsiders did not stop as the National Anthem was being sung.

As I was standing on the side of the road opposite our school, waiting for the singing of the National Anthem to be finished, Berto, a schoolmate and neighbor who was likewise late suddenly came and pulled me by my left hand with such a strong force that caused me to run with him or I would not only lose my balance but might even be hit by oncoming vehicles.

From a distance, and near her office, the school principal’s roving eyes caught us running across the street until we stopped near the main gate of the school.

When the flag-raising ceremony was over and all of us had proceeded to our respective classrooms, my Adviser and I got an order from the highest authority of the school to report to her office where we found the latter raging in anger. I was a timid boy then and did not usually answer back whenever school authorities scolded me for whatever reason. After telling my Adviser that she saw Berto and me running on the street during the flag-raising ceremony, the Principal instructed her to drop me in my “Good Manners and Right Conduct” subject. Upon returning to our classroom, my Adviser scolded me in front of the class putting me in great embarrassment.

Following what the school principal had instructed, that grading period, my Adviser gave me a grade of 70 in my character education subject. I was one of the top ten students in academic standing and that incident most likely was a giant factor why I failed to make it to the honor roll.

That incident not only gave me great embarrassment but even lowered my self-esteem. It gave both school teachers and schoolmates a negative opinion of myself. I wished I could express my sentiment then but I felt I had no voice. I did not know where to go or whom to see to release the negative feelings in me.

I was indeed treated very unfairly and unjustly.

First, I was aware of what was going on and knew how I was to behave or respond to the occasion. I knew I shouldn’t run as the National Anthem was being sung that was why I was standing at attention even if I was outside of the school campus. But that foolish boy pulled me by my left hand and it was a natural response and reaction to run with him, or I’d lose my balance or, worse, be hit by oncoming vehicles.

Second, almost everyone outside of the school campus was moving. Why were we singled out as offenders—if ever we were indeed offenders?

Third, even the school principal herself was inattentive to the flag-raising ceremony that was then going on or she would have not noticed what transpired outside of the school compound. I could only guess that in the whole duration of the occasion, her eyes as well as her heart and mind were preoccupied with things outside of the area of her concern. I believe she was the one who did not treat the singing of our national anthem with respect.

Anyway, that incident happened so very long ago. I just wonder why such an unpleasant memory keeps on haunting me. Have I not forgiven those who had unfairly and unjustly treated me?

As much as possible, I’d like to write about experiences that will tend to inspire readers. Things that will make them smile.

But I believe putting this sort of painful experience in writing is justified. Rosemarie, that popular blogger, left a comment in my “On Blogging” post telling me that writing can be therapeutic. That motivated and encouraged me to write about that incident. But even long before she left that comment, I’ve been experiencing a great urge to write about that unpleasant experience. I believe spilling out this bitterness inside of me through writing will help drive this unpleasant memory out of my system. And I trust my intuition.

AFTERGLOW

You’re more than just
a thing of the past
A fallen leaf…
a wave that crashed
You are an ever-glowing sun
that warms my coldest day
A sparkling star that guides
me in the darkest night.

Inang, you’re not just
a cloud hov'ring above
That comes at dawn…
that leaves at dusk
When I’m alone you’ll be a
haunting song that gives delight
Sweet melody that lingers
in my lonely heart!

MIRROR ON THE WALL

I am a mirror on the wall
Face me and I’m myself no more
I smile because you smile at me
I frown when your heart is heavy.

When sunbeams kiss me with delight
I bounce the kiss equally bright
And when the dark cloud veils the night
I will deprive him of his sight

I tell no lie, believe in me
I’ll only show what is shown me
I couldn’t give you less nor more
Than what you’ve given me before

But friend, I wonder, can you tell me
When all the fogs are spread around me
Why do you dimly see me smiling
When all in sooth my heart is breaking?