PRAYER WHEN AMBIVALENT

Have you ever experienced having ambivalent feelings? That is, you are governed by conflicting emotions—like loving and hating at the same time?

A good situational example is, when a girl just broke up with the boy she has learned to deeply love. The hurt feeling that her erstwhile boyfriend has caused her makes her hate him so much. But remembering the good old days when everything about their relationship was so sweet makes her pine for those happy days when they were still together. However, the wound in her heart is still fresh and whenever anyone or anything that has something to do with it comes into her mind, her good mood can easily be transformed to the negative, thus, hating him again as she feels the pain. Expectedly, the moment good memories come her way again, her fondness for him would reign over her.

I believe all of us experience such conflicting moods and feelings even once in a while. In many cases, though, they may not involve romantic relationship.

I do have my share of those feelings. And they concern my relationship with my loved ones particularly my siblings. Those feelings come to me so often that it seems like I’m engaged in a self-torture game. And this makes me feel really miserable.

In times like this, I try my best to be governed by reason and not to be blinded by my negative feelings. Since most of the time, negative feelings are overpowering, I wrote a prayer that would help me find my way back to reason as I say the prayer. I’d repeat the prayer until I’m back to the right perspective.

I am sharing with you that prayer I composed in the early 90s that has helped me every time I feel ambivalent. I hope you will like it and in some ways help you do away or at least cope with ambivalent feelings.

Prayer When Ambivalent

Lord Jesus Christ, help me not to be impulsive. Help me not to be overwhelmed nor be governed by strong and powerful negative emotions or temporary passions that will soon fade and die down. Make me more patient and tolerant, Lord. Instead of giving in to people’s provocations, help me choose to understand and forgive those who have wronged and hurt me.

Most of all, help me forgive my loved ones, Lord, and understand that these people whom I oftentimes harbor resentment towards with, are the same people whom I love and the reason for my aspirations. Help me understand that harboring any negative feeling against them will be incompatible with loving and caring for them.

And during such times when I have conflicting emotions, help me do away with such ambivalent feelings, Lord. May my ambivalence not stop me from helping, loving, and caring for them.

Amen.

INTRODUCING: MICHAEL VIGANO

Friends and readers, Goddy: An Unbreakable Spirit is proud to introduce to you MIKE VIGANO, a professional musician and another Pinoy pride.

Watch his "awesome performance" in the video below uploaded by AWarrenJohnson on YouTube.

THE POWER OF PRAYER

Aftermath of Typhoon Ondoy

(Photo from Tambayan.ph)

The night after I heard about the news on the approaching super typhoon “Pepeng”, I received some text messages in the form of prayer from a former classmate in the high school and other anonymous text senders requesting me to forward them to as many friends as possible.

The prayer asked for divine intervention and implored the Almighty Father not to let the coming typhoon hit any of the islands in our country as our people from flood-affected areas have not recovered yet from Ondoy’s wrath.

The following day, the Philippine Daily Inquirer carried a news item on “Pepeng”. The news report said that, “As Pepeng moves toward Luzon, Auxiliary Bishop Lucio Quiambao of the Archdiocese of Legaspi encouraged Filipinos to pray the ‘Oratio Imperata For Deliverance From Calamities’”.

The powerful prayer was said to have helped spare the province of Albay from typhoons and disasters since a super typhoon struck some three years ago.

The prayer, as published by the Philippine Daily Inquirer, read as follows:

“Almighty Father, we raise our hearts to You in gratitude for the wonders of creation of which we are part, for Your providence in sustaining us in our needs, and for Your wisdom that guides the course of the universe.

“We acknowledge our sins against You and the rest of creation.

“We have not been good stewards of Nature.

“We have confused Your command to subdue the Earth.

“The environment is made to suffer our wrongdoing, and now we reap the harvest of our abuse and indifference.

“Global warming is upon us. Typhoons, floods, volcanic eruption, and other natural calamities occur in increasing number and intensity.

“We turn to You, our loving Father, and beg forgiveness for our sins.

“We ask that we, our loved ones and our hard-earned possessions be spared from the threat of calamities, natural and man-made.

“We beseech You to inspire us all to grow into responsible stewards of Your creation, and generous neighbors to those in need.

“Amen.”

Filipinos are used to experiencing typhoons and floods. Our country is even referred to as storm laboratory since typhoons are formed in the area pretty close to it. But never before have I seen or heard our countrymen worry so much about typhoons and floods—not after Ondoy destroyed and devastated a big portion of the National Capital Region. The destruction and devastation caused by Ondoy were so great, the people just cannot afford another such deluge.

But I believe a great many people collectively prayed with all their hearts. And Metro Manila and other provinces surrounding the mega city were spared from “Pepeng”.

Indeed, “many things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of.”

WELCOME TO GAPAN CITY

I have been working more than a hundred kilometers away from home for so long. Although I regularly visit my loved ones, there are times—and they’re quite often—when I yearn for home especially when there’s so much stress in the workplace and the pressures of life seem to drive me crazy. 

The last time I went to Gapan City for a brief sojourn and to unwind, I brought my digital camera with me and took photographs of the downtown area and other places I found interesting to visit. I thought it would be useful to have pictures of my hometown in Olongapo so as to lessen the effect of homesickness once it strikes me. 

 Let’s take a walk…

La Virgen Divina Pastora, Patroness of Gapan City

and the province of Nueva Ecija

Downtown Gapan (Tinio St., Sto. Nino)

Junction of Cagayan Valley Road and Olongapo-Gapan Road

Bucana (San Vicente)

Tinio Street, San Vicente

Downtown Gapan (San Vicente)

A portion of Tinio St., San Vicente (in front of

Gapan South Central School)

Tinio Street (Gapan City's main thoroughfare)

The almost-complete two-storey Gapan City Public Market

Tinio Street in front of Public Market

A building opposite Jollibee

San Vicente near Public Market

Jollibee in front of the city plaza

The Three Kings Parish Church

Church's interior

La Virgen Divina Pastora National Shrine

Divina Pastora College

Delos Reyes Street leading to the Church

A slice of Vigan

The city plaza

Henry Lowee, my nephew, standing in front of our house

Our neighbors in the subdivision

Walter Mart Mall on National Highway in Bayanihan

Walter Mart's interior

Walter Mart Mall

Goddy (2nd from left, standing) with former classmate Mayor Eto Natividad (center, seated beside Mrs. Natividad) & other classmates at a reunion

The Penaranda River separating Gapan City from the adjacent San Leonardo town

THE "CORY YELLOW" AND HOW IT CAME TO BE

Yellow blooms for Ninoy and Cory

Familiar scenes and activities of the past months marked the dramatic return of the “yellow fever” on the world stage where the atmosphere was characterized by people wearing clothes and using things and other symbols predominantly yellow in color. Even web pages, especially blog sites like this one (Goddy: An Unbreakable Spirit), were adorned with yellow ribbons with introduction or background why they are on the Net.

Occasioned by former President Cory’s affliction with colon cancer, her friends and supporters including the Catholic Church offered prayers for her recovery using yellow ribbons as symbol of their love and concern. When she passed away on the first day of August this year, the color yellow, identified with her--the country’s most loved president--became even more conspicuous and prominent in many places in Metro Manila and on the Net.

Cris Rivera, an officemate, approached me one vacant time and told me that his children asked him why the color yellow became “Cory’s symbol”. He said he had no idea and asked me if I knew the answer.

Cris is more than 10 years my junior and told me that he was just a student when the Aquino assassination and the People Power Revolution took place.

I told him that Ninoy Aquino’s return to the Philippines from his 3-year exile in the United States had the answer although I wasn’t really sure if I made a precise recollection of events. I told him I had no time to make a research but basing on events that unfolded during those times and news stories that I’ve read, I would try to give him a short background of the story.

As I started answering his question, I appeared like I was telling him a beautiful and deeply-moving story—a very touching love story between a patriotic man and his country and people; a very poignant love story between a man and his woman.

So, let me begin…

After Ninoy’s incarceration for more than seven years, he suffered from heart ailment that necessitated his release from his cell for a bypass operation in the United States. Ferdinand Marcos allowed him to leave the country subject to certain conditions.

When the successful operation was over, Ninoy and his family settled in Boston, Massachussetts. There, on fellowship grants from Harvard University and the Massachussetts Institute of Technology, he gave lectures. (President Cory, in her speech before the joint session of the United States Congress, stated that those 3 years they spent in Boston were their happiest years together.)

After three years of his self-imposed exile in the United States and after learning about the ailing Marcos’ deteriorating health condition, he decided to come back to the Philippines to unite the fragmented opposition.

Since Ninoy had been away for three long years, he wanted some signs or indications that people or those he left behind still wanted him back. Inspired by the old song Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Old Oak Tree which was originally recorded and popularized by Tony Orlando and Dawn, he asked them to tie yellow ribbons on trees and elsewhere.

In a television interview during the 26th year anniversary of Ninoy’s death, Mr. Lichauco (I believe he’s Ninoy’s brother-in-law) said that when Ninoy returned, yellow ribbons were indeed tied or placed on cars at the then Manila International Airport (MIA) and on some conspicuous places there, which Ninoy never got the chance to see since he was assassinated.

Upon Cory’s return from Boston to bury Ninoy, she was able to know about the public’s outrage over the killing of her husband. That was evidently seen at the wake and during the funeral—the biggest ever in Philippine history—where roughly two million people escorted Ninoy to his final resting place.

When the opposition drafted Cory for its official candidate in the snap presidential election, she obliged and adopted the color yellow and the "L" or Laban sign for her campaign symbols. She wore yellow dress in the whole duration of the campaign period. The color yellow which became the symbol of protest united even more not only the opposition but the entire Filipino people.

Thus, the color yellow which in my high school days used to stand for “jealousy” radically changed its meaning to being a symbol of protest and courage.

Recently, however, in its dramatic return to the world stage, the color yellow, still ascribed to and identified with Tita Cory, became a symbol of love and affection as the whole nation grieved and mourned the passing away of its most loved president and leader.

WILLIE REVILLAME AND PRESIDENT CORY'S FUNERAL CORTEGE

(Photo from http://tagpuan.com)

Willie Revillame has been absent from ABS-CBN’s noontime TV program “Wowowee” for a number of days now. He is reportedly on indefinite leave that was a consequence of the controversial statement he made regarding the funeral cortege of our beloved President Corazon Aquino.

President Cory has already been laid to rest. Yet, discussions, both verbally and in print, about that above-mentioned statement still go on. Even my own officemates—especially Annie who is a Cory fan and supporter and Reanne who is Kris Aquino's avid fan—are still talking about it.

I read one news item defending Willie for what he had said and justifying both his words and action. But many were criticizing him.

It will be noted that Wowowee is still being telecast until now. But our dearly beloved Tita Cory’s wake was over. Never will there be another President Cory's funeral cortege subject for a TV coverage.

ON WOWOWEE AND WILLIE REVILLAME

Wowowee is my favorite noontime show. It makes me laugh. It makes me happy. It helps me forget my worries even if only momentarily.

I like the show’s format and I love the “Willie of Fortune” portion most of all. Spontaneous laughter makes me feel real good and deeply moving scenes that touch my heart give me positive feeling.

Of course, I like Willie very much. He’s the principal life of the show (my opinion). Perhaps, he was the major reason why many watch Wowowee.

Willie once commented, “Even doctors (maybe psychiatrists) now prescribe or recommend watching Wowowee to their patients,” or words to that effect. He might be right. And I believed him. For laughter resulting from funny scenes as well as spontaneous positive emotion resulting from touching scenes that abound in his show can be so therapeutic. They’re indeed healthy.

The fact that I am Willie’s kababayan (we are both from Nueva Ecija) made me like his program even more. I support someone who comes from my home province.

ON PRESIDENT CORY'S DEATH

I’ve been very supportive of Madame Cory since I learned or read about her sufferings brought about by her husband Ninoy’s incarceration and assassination. Fate seemed so cruel to Madame Cory. She had been deprived of some of her very essential needs in life.

But emboldened by the death of her husband, Madame Cory fought the Dictator for us. And because she gave us back our freedom, she deserved to be loved.

Even the management of ABS-CBN where Willie Revillame has a noontime show is indebted to Madame Cory for giving back said station to its owners after winning her fight for democracy.

But Madame Cory’s winning ways did not stop with the fall of the Dictator. Installed as President, she served the Filipino people—selflessly and with all honesty and integrity.

When Tita Cory died, we shed tears for her. Everyone especially those who couldn’t make it to her wake patiently and intently watched the coverage of her wake and funeral cortege on television.

In our very own office where a TV set was turned on during the late President’s funeral cortege, my officemates closely monitored the latest on President Cory. In fact, I often heard each one watching the coverage (simultaneously with the noontime show Wowowee) ask, “Where is it now?” referring to the funeral cortege. Obviously, on that particular day, they were more interested with ABS-CBN’s coverage of President Cory than watching Wowowee.

Shifting channel or station—from ABS-CBN to GMA which had its own coverage of the late President's funeral cortege—was a clear indication they deemed it more important to watch the late President’s funeral cortege on that day than Wowowee which they can watch some other time and regularly.

ON THE FOUR HONOR GUARDS

It would be worth mentioning here that the four honor guards assigned to escort the late President’s remains as she headed for her final resting place, standing still for more than nine hours without food and drink, braving the elements, and not even attending to their personal necessities, won the hearts and admiration of the public.

The four honor guards were awarded cash, showered with gifts, and accorded other honors for the services they rendered to a very prominent personality that the Filipinos so dearly loved.

Perhaps, in much the same way, anyone from any television station who gave way to the coverage of a well-loved president's final moments on earth will also win the admiration and love of every Filipino.

VINCENT BUENO'S STUNNING PERFORMANCE

Watch Vincent Bueno’s very impressive performance at Starnacht (Star Night) at Worthersee in Austria as he sings “I Kissed A Girl”.

Also, take note how the late Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, had influenced Vincent’s singing and dancing career. Enjoy watching! (Video uploaded by vincentbuenofans on YouTube)